Here we go:
1. A circle must be my favorite shape. I seem to go around and around the same mental and physical set backs. I tend to react the same way to things and get frustrated with myself for my lack of improvement when I should know better.
2. 24 hours in a day is just enough. I remember just laying in bed and thinking, thank you God for not giving us super loooong days. I know that I have complained in the past about there not being enough time in a day, but really God it's just enough. Enough to enjoy the good and just enough to go to sleep when it's really bad. The24 hours is a cut off for people like me to know we can always start over. That new days are just ahead. That things don't have to perpetually stay the same. The new days are a reminder of new beginnings and fresh starts and of your never ending mercy and grace. I did however think "well what about good days and making them last longer?" or "wouldn't it be nice if days were longer for vacation purposes?", but what if they were longer and we just got complacent with things or the "good" feeling would wear off and we wouldn't appreciate them as much? Who knows. But for me 24 hours was a great call Lord. You're soooooo smart!
3. I've realized that I am a control freak. I would take back the sleepless nights of waking up with a new born than to deal with the uncertainties of adolescents. I can't stand the fact I have to let go of the control I have with my teenage son. I love the idea of measuring food and picking out what they will wear and know where they are, what they are doing and having the power to decide the inbetweens. I may sound crazy, but letting go of this control Jesus has been hard. It's made my heart ache thinking that I can't control every decision my son will make, I can't control what or who he will like and follow. I can't control what will happen later and not knowing makes me uneasy. That's where YOU step in. You step in to show me, YOU are in control. You step in and remind me that even though I raise my children here, ultimately they are YOURS and YOU will take care of them too. Why should I fear? What YOU are showing me God is how much YOU are to me. My backbone, my peace, my comfort and guide through uncertainty. You are my reminder of HOPE, my calmness when all I want to do is worry. You are beautiful, just so wonderful to me.
4. I've learned that it's never over til it's over! ( Watching sports games really shows us this too! LOL)God, I'm learning that even when it seems that things may be done, or that the impossibilities stare us straight in the face, YOU can make a way. I can't describe YOUR awesomeness or amazing self, but all I can say is remember when I was scared about finances? Remember when I felt like we had to work more or do more because I just couldn't understand how we were going to make it with 4 kids and getting the pay we would get? I remember reading the parable about the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish ( John 6:1-14) and I remember thinking, "You really CAN do SO MUCH WITH SO LITTLE!"
That's what You keep on doing, taking the little that I have, whether it's in the area of finances, or faith, fitness, or belief and YOU show me all YOU want is for us to give you that and YOU will do the rest! Thank you God for doing so much with so little!
Luke 1:37 "FOR NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD."
5. Lastly, You are showing me it's okay to be me. It's okay that I mess up and am NOT perfect. It's okay that I have to repeat lessons over and over sometimes. You still love me the same. It's okay if I drift off or don't do things EXACTLY the way I should, YOU are STILL PERFECT and YOU STILL come through! I am so glad YOU are God and not me. I'm so glad that even though You know me, You love me the same. Thank you for showing me it's okay to not be perfect.
